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y.pulongbarit-cuevo

paper artist and radio dj

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CHIRP Radio

As a DJ for 107.1FM in Chicago, I am fortunate to share great local and international music to an awesome audience every Saturday 9pm CST and check out new releases from cool artists.

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09•27•19 — a birthday that’s a little bit different. No, A LOT different. This month has been the toughest and roughest.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Where have I been?⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I urgently flew back to the Philippines to help watch over my sick brother. We caught his cancer at the late stages. His condition was rare. He was not even a candidate for surgery or transplant. He had no vices. It was a complex case caused by an overwhelming mix of factors. We fought so hard until the end. HE fought so hard until the end. He was so strong through it all, through all the pain and suffering. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Sometimes, people thought that he was giving up because of his words and reactions. But he was just giving up from the pain — not life. I saw him fight for it with my own eyes. When he understood why he needed all the medications, treatments, and apparatus, he eagerly asked for the next steps and how to improve so he can get away from being a prisoner in his own body. He was strong and brave, no matter how scared he also was.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I will always hold those “miracle mornings” with him (and my husband) in the hospital close to my heart. I’d recall stories from our childhood and we would do simple exercises while he’s bedridden. He’d write random things like “diogent” or “second pulmonary” because he might have heard it from the nurses and thought it corresponded to something that he wanted at the moment.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I miss him so much everyday. And I will forever live with the fact that I am the sibling who survived. Why me? More people need my kuya. I know it’s just survivor’s guilt talking, yet you can’t help but wish that he is still around. That’s how amazing he is. People want him around. His wake was filled with too much people that any wake could handle. SO MANY PEOPLE AND SO MANY STORIES AND SO MANY TEARS.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I told my husband this morning that since it’s still unbelievable to me, why can’t I just NOT believe it? Can’t I continue thinking and feeling and believing that he’s still around? People cope and move on in different ways, and I respect that. I choose not to move on, but to continue living with the belief that he is still with me, with us. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Dito ka lang kuya. I love you. Tayo lang.❤️
Where have I been?🌿⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ We say life happens but the past weeks were the most overwhelmed I have been. The sadness that my own failures give me are bearable. But a loved one in pain is not. Our family recently found out that my only brother has an illness. I can’t even say the word. I hate it. I am mad at it. I often hear other people struggle with the pain of seeing their loved one suffer from some type of this illness. I never thought it will creep into my life THIS close.😔 ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ My brother is one of the most fun person you will meet.❤️ He taught me how to ride a bike and we grew up playing pranks on our grownup cousins while they sleep. He is a hands-on father to his children. We love him so much and we are fighting and winning this battle.👊🏼 He is strong and brave. He deserves to live a long, healthy life with the family he already started building.❤️⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ On the same day that we learned about my brother’s diagnosis, my husband also got his board exam result and aced it.🔥 I’m a witness to the crazy challenges that he went through in this journey — juggling exam preparations and married life and owning a business — and I couldn’t be more proud of him. This will not only open doors for him, but also allow us to pursue more goals together.❤️⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ This I where it becomes tricky. My chest still hurts and it’s been many weeks. The emotional roller coaster is more challenging because it’s a mix of extreme highs and lows so I’m just confused — happy but in so much pain in the middle of it all. I want to be brave, strong, and positive in a responsible way. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I want to be cautiously optimistic by keeping an eye on the obstacle.🙏🏼 I believe that the optimism will give clarity on what I can do next or how I can help to make things better. I still cry like a mess but I stand up (hopefully stronger) at the end of the emotional drain. We are figuring out what’s next and we are surviving it.⁣⁣ ⁣ So from a slow collapse from weeks ago, I am currently at this sort of a hope-building thing. It’s rebuilding with everything that is hopeful and possible — which includes doing everything in my power to help weather this storm.🌱
Sharing late night sketches/studies.🌙 Are you an early bird or a night owl?🐥🦉 ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ I MIGHT BE BOTH!😂⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ There are studies saying that we can actually switch from being a night owl to an early bird.😃 It takes time and has guidelines of course. I’ve been trying to be a morning person for a couple of years now but there will be specific days or even weeks when I revert to becoming a night owl again.🙁 I’m a fan of building habits but maaaahn that one is hard to nail down for me.💩 I remember not sleeping at all during the last few days before an art show last year and an art fair recently. As in nada Zzzs.🙅🏻So I think whether I’m an early bird or a night owl, ART is what I wake up for and what keeps me up late at night these days. And that’s a-okay for now.😌🌱💚 #workinprogress #illustrationdaily #papercutting
Who had a tough week?🙋🏻 • • • Grow through what you go through.🌱 I am still wondering how I survived the past couple of years trying to do what I do now. I am light years away from success — but what is success for you or me anyway? I used to stack it against family expectations, social standards, and other successful people in the industry that I’m trying to get in. I always knew I define it differently but I also learned that I can never shove it to other people’s throats either, family and friends included. Makes me a little vulnerable sometimes but hey, vulnerability is okay. Then I resume growing.🌿💚 #gratitudejournal #papercutart

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